Hallelujah

Hallelujah

i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

hallelujah...

i did my best, it wasn't much
i couldn't feel, so i tried to touch
i've told the truth, i didn't come to fool you
and even though
it all went wrong
i'll stand before the lord of song
with nothing on my tongue but hallelujah

hallelujah...

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

Both Sides Now

This song just wrecks me. I remember really hearing it for the first time years ago when Rosie O'Donnell used it in a montage on her last show. I've been in love with it ever since. I sat just dumbstruck and full of tears when the little acrobat did his "dance" to this song at the 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremonies. Even as I post this and am reading the lyrics again, I'm a little teary eyed.

Both Sides Now

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds * that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

- Joni Mitchell

Academia

Academia

You can be my alphabet and I will be your calculator
And together we'll work out on the escalator
I will time you as you run up the down
And you'll measure my footsteps as I blow through this town
The mean of our heights is divided by the nights
Which is times'd by the daggers and the route of all our fights,
The pass of your poem is to swathe me in your knowing
And the beauty of the word is that you don't have to show it

Oh academia you can't pick me up
Soothe me with your words when I need your love

I am a dash and you are a dot
When will you see that I am all that you've got
I'm a binary code that you cracked long ago
But to you I'm just a novel that you wish you'd never wrote
I'm greater than x and lesser than y, so why is it
That I still can't catch your eye?
You're a cryptic crossword, a song I've never heard
While I sit here drawing circles I'm afraid of being hurt

Oh academia you can't pick me up
Soothe me with your words when I need your love

You're a difficult equation with a knack for heart evasion
Will you listen to my proof or will you add another page on
It appears to me the graph has come and stolen all the laughs
It appears to me the pen has over analysed again
And if I am a number I'm infinity plus one
And if you are five words you are afraid to be the one
And if you are a number you're infinity plus one
And if I am four words then I am needing of your love

Oh academia you can't pick me up
Soothe me with your words when I need your love
Academia

-Sia

The Only Fault

The Only Fault

If I could have one wish
If I could have some say
I'd keep you far from home
I'd roll back both my sleeves
Dig under your skin
And fix your shattered bones

Hold on,
This may hurt you when I tell you of the truth,
We don't get two lives to live
It's true,
The only fault I've found in you
Is not being free to take what I would give

If I could bend your pain
Into something good
Make you a prouder man
If I could rough you up
And save you with good luck
And show you hope again

Hold on,
Weren't meant to suffer so very long
Leaving love that's gone has never been a sin
Hang tight,
The only fault you have tonight
Is shutting down so cold till I break in.

Oh sad young man,
I think I need you.
For reasons I don't know
I pledge myself to winter season
So it's perfectly on course
But in the end it has to snow.

If I could make you stay
Convince you you'd be lost
If we were torn apart
If it remained unclear
Between the two of us
Which one would be the one
To break the others heart

Hold on,
This will floor me differently
Than any drug that's washed me into sleep
It's true
The only fault I'll take from you
Is how to run from what you wish to keep
-Rachael Yamagata

Samson

Samson

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

-Regina Spektor

Hello

Hello

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

-Evanescence

All Alone

All Alone
I’ve got to stop and ask directions
Cause I can’t see from here
I’m down a road I’ve never traveled
And I can’t see from here
The things I thought I wanted
Would have held so dear
Slipping through my hands like
The hourglass and the sand
I just don’t have control

But am I all alone
I’d be the only one
To hear me cry
Is this love I’m fighting for
Is it just a way for me
To say goodbye

The walls are slowly closing in
And I can’t breathe in here
Making all the same mistakes
To push you away my fear
The things I thought I wanted
I would have held so dear
Slipping through my hands like
The hourglass and the sand
I just don’t have control

But am I all alone
I’d be the only one
To hear me cry
Is this love I’m fighting for
Is it just a way for me
To say goodbye

Goodbye
The things I thought I wanted
I would have held so dear
Slipping through my hands like
The hourglass and the sand
I don’t know where I’d be
If it wasn’t for you and me
I could never understand

But am I all alone
I’d be the only one
To hear me cry
Is this love I’m fighting for
Is this just a way for me
To say goodbye
Goodbye
It’s just a way for me to say goodbye.

-Trevor Price

Gold Dust

Gold Dust

Sights and sounds pull me back down another year.
I was here. I was here.
Whipping past the reflecting pool, me and you skipping school,
And we make it up as we go along. We make it up we go along.

You said you raced from Langley pulling me underneath,
A cherry blossom canopy,
Do I Have- of course I have, beneath my raincoat,
I have your photographs.
And the sun on your face, I'm freezing that frame.

And somewhere Alfie cries and says,
"Enjoy his every smile. You can see in the dark,
"Through the eyes of Laura Mars."
How did it go so fast, you'll say,
As we are looking back, and then we'll understand,
We held gold dust in our hands.

Sights and sounds pull me back down another year.
I was here. I was here.
Gaslights glow in the street,
Twilight held us in her palm as we walked along.
Oh, and we make it up as we go along. We make it up as we go along.

Letting names hang in the air, what color hair?
Autumn knowingly stared.
And the day that she came, I'm freezing that frame.
I'm freezing that frame.

And somewhere Alfie smiles and says,
"Enjoy her every cry. You can see in the dark,
"Through the eyes of Laura Mars."
How did it go so fast, you'll say,
As we are looking back and then we'll understand,
We held gold dust in our hands. In our hands.

-Tori Amos

Send in the Clowns

Probably one of my favorite songs ever; another Stephen Sondheim masterpiece.

Send in the Clowns

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

Set The Fire To The Third Bar

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have traveled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

Enjoy the Silence

Enjoy the Silence

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

-Depeche Mode

Colorblind

Colorblind

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...

Taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am... fine

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded,
and unfolded,
and unfolding
I am... colorblind

Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am... fine

- Counting Crows
Although I like the version by Natalie Walker better.

End of the World

End Of The World

I don’t want to ride this roller coaster
I think I want to get off
But they buckled me down
Like it’s the end of the world
If you don’t want to have this conversation
Then you better get out
Cause we’re climbing to our death
At least that’s what they want you to think
Just in case we jump the track
I have a confession to make
It’s something like a cork screw

I don’t wanna fall, I don’t wanna fly
I don’t wanna be dangled over
The edge of a dying romance
But I don’t wanna stop
I don’t wanna lie
I don’t wanna believe it’s over
I just wanna stay with you tonight

I didn’t mean to scream out quite so loudly
When we screeched to a halt
I’m just never prepared
For the end of the ride
Maybe we should get on something simpler
Like a giant balloon
But I’ve got two tickets left, and so do you
Instead of giving them away to some stranger
Let’s make them count, come on
Let’s get back in line again and ride the big one

Don’t you want to fall, don’t you want to fly
Don’t you want to be dangled over
The edge of this aching romance
If it’s gonna end, then I wanna know
That we squeezed out every moment
But if there’s nothing left can you tell me why
That it is you’re holding onto me
Like it’s the end of the world

-Matt Alber

It Never Was You

It never was you

I've been searching through rains
And the wind that follows after
For one certain face
And an unforgotten laughter
I've been following signs
I've been searching through the lands
For a certain pair of arms
And a certain pair of hands
Yes, i tried a kiss here
And i tried a kiss there
For when you're out in company
The boys and girls will pair
But it never was you
It never was anywhere you
An occasional sunset reminded me
Or a flower hanging high on a tulip tree
Or one red star hung low in the west
Or a heart-break call from a Meadow Lark's nest
Made me think for a moment
Maybe its true
I found him in the star
In the call
In the blue
But it never was you
It never was anywhere you
Anywhere, anywhere you

Fireflies

Fireflies

Him:
you... looked my mother
did when she was nineteen
not afraid to die
I... started planning our future
when you were just nineteen
still a firefly

Her:
you...got terrible vision
should have seen I was leaving
when I first appeared
I...got bit by the footlights
I got caught in the headlights
in anyplace but here

Both:
never say
you'll never leave
cuz you never know till you try
in a jar
fireflies
only last for one night
only last for one night

Her:
Trains roll... like gamblers in slow mo
Tryin' to find good luck
When they couldn't find love

Him:
I'm... gonna sleep on the train tracks
It's gonna be peaceful
Then it's gonna get rough

Both:
Never say
You'll never leave
Cuz you'll never know til you try
In a jar
fireflies
Only last for one night
Only last for one night

I must have had a reason for leavin'
Not one I could see
I must have had a reason for leavin'
Must have been me
Must have been me...

Him:
You... looked just like my mother
Did when she was 19
Not afraid to die

Her:
For the last time... I'm not your mother
And I was only 19
I'm still a firefly
-Rhett Miller

Gravity

Gravity

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

Elsewhere

Elsewhere

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
Distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out holding in

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
Passing through like liquid
I am drunk in my desire...
But I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me
Might not be right for you but it's right for me...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
If I choose to
Would you understand it
Would you try to understand...

-Sarah McLachlan

I Remember (Damien Rice)

Oh Damien, who hurt you? Who was it?!?
His music conveys such exquisite misery. This particular song is told in two parts. I look at the first part as being when you're just falling in love and everything is sunshine and butterflies in your stomach. The second part is after things take some sort of horrible turn for the worst. I'm guessing someone cheated or there is some jealousy afoot. Ah, love...

I remember

I remember it well
The first time that I saw
Your head around the door
'Cause mine stopped working

I remember it well
There was wet in your hair
I was stood in stare
And time stopped moving

I want you here tonight
I want you here
'Cause I can't believe what I found
I want you here tonight want you here
'Cause nothing is taking me down, down, down...

I remember it well
Taxied out of a storm
To watch you perform
And my ships were sailing

I remember it well
I was stood in your line
And your mouth, your mouth, your mind...

I want you here tonight
I want you here
'Cause I can't believe what I found
I want you here tonight want you here
Nothing is taking me down, down, down...

Except you my love. Except you my love...

Come all ye lost
Dive into moss
I hope that my sanity covers the cost
To remove the stain of my love
In paper mache

Come all ye reborn
Blow off my horn
I'm driving real hard
This isn't love, this is porn
God will forgive me
But I, I whip myself with scorn, scorn

I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
I remember December
And I wanna hear what you have to say about me
Hear if you're gonna live without me
I wanna hear what you want
What the hell do you want?

A Case of You

It's Joni Mitchell. Do I really need to say anymore than that?

Just before our love got lost you said
I am as constant as a northern star
And I said, constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar

On the back of a carton coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice

Oh you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time that you told me, you said
Love is touching souls
Surely you touched mine
Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time

Oh you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed

Oh but you are in my blood you're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you darling
Still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I Remember

Today's post comes from the Stephen Sondheim musical, Evening Primrose. This short musical tells the story of a small community of people living in a large department store. Ella became part of that community at age six when she was shopping with and later became separated from her mother. In this song she tells Charles that even though she hasn't seen the sun in 13 years she still remembers.

I remember sky.
It was blue as ink.
Or at least I think
I remember sky.

I remember snow,
Soft as feathers,
Sharp as thumbtacks,
Coming down like lint,
And it made you squint
When the wind would blow

And ice, like vinyl, on the streets
Cold as silver,
White as sheets,
Rain like strings and
Changing things
Like leaves

I remember leaves,
Green as spearmint,
Crisp as paper.
I remember trees,
Bare as coat racks, spread like broken umbrellas

And parks and bridges,
Ponds and zoos,
Ruddy faces,
Muddy shoes,
Light and noise and bees and boys and days.

I remember days,
Or at least I try.
But as years go by
They're a sort of haze.
And the bluest ink
Isn't really sky.
And at times I think
I would gladly die
For a day of sky.

Never is a Promise

Today's post is brought to you by the incredible wordsmith Fiona Apple. I've been in love with her since 1997 when my friend Stuart and his dad introduced me to her "Tidal" album. It was my first taste of jaded angsty music.

Never is a Promise

You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still to proud to mention, to you

You'll say you understand
But you don't understand
You'll say you'll never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown to you

You'll say "don't fear your dreams"
It's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live this life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention, to you

You'll say you understand
You'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in
You don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

Poem a day... well dayish let's be honest.

In honor of National Poetry Month I'm going to be posting some stuff here. Since I don't really read my posts will mostly consist of song lyrics. I've confirmed with Stephanie that song lyrics count as poetry. If you want legit poems though check out her poetry blog. She posts some amazing stuff over there.

Today's entry is brought to you by Ani Difranco.
Grey

The sky is grey
The sand is grey
And the ocean is grey

And I feel right at home
In this stunning monochrome
Alone in my way

I smoke and I drink
And every time I blink
I have a tiny dream

But as bad as I am
I'm proud of the fact
That I'm worse than I seem

What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything I want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

You walk through my walls
Like a ghost on tv
You penetrate me

And my little pink heart
Is on it's little brown raft
Floating out to sea

And what can I say
But I'm wired this way
And you're wired to me

And what can I do
But wallow in you
Unintentionally

What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything I want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

Regretfully
I guess I've only got three
Simple things to say:
Why me?
Why this now?
Why this way?
With overtones ringing
And undertows pulling away
Under a sky that is grey
On sand that is grey
By an ocean that's grey

What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything I want
And still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

Considering Easter

If I recall the Bible stories I learned as a child properly, when Jesus was healing the sick he didn’t say, “Sorry, I can’t heal you blind man. You’ve got a previously existing condition.” He didn’t say, “The greatest of these is love but Ew, gross! Not that kind of love. Stop it! It’s not natural!” nor did he say, “thou shalt not kill unless you get the go ahead from Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh or you get the idea to do so from a “joke” when Sara Palin sets her sights on you. - Justin Bond